Love Is Real
by stana-xox0
Summary: Kb tells RC everything
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One:

Kate Beckett knew from the moment she first saw Richard Castle that he was the one for her. She knew that he would love her, take care of her, and respect her, so why did she avoid him when he told her he loved her? Why did she run away from something so perfect? She regrets not calling him, not saying one word, not even looking at him. Now he's back in her life and things are not like they used to be. If she ever gets the courage to tell him how she feels, she will, but first she needs to get better, to break down the wall that is stopping her from doing what she really wants and once that wall is down, she will be free to be who she really wants to be.

Kate Beckett picked up her phone, scrolled through her contacts, stopped at Richard Castle and with no hesitation pressed call.

"Hey, Its Castle, I must be writing or solving a murder so leave a message after the beep."

"Castle, its Beckett, again, call me back when you get this."

She put her phone on the kitchen table and sat down. She waited for a call from him.

After about 5 minutes of waiting for a call she got up and walked to the bathroom.

She turned on the shower, undressed and stared into the mirror. She hated what she looked like. The baggy eyes, the skinny arms and most of all she hated her scars. They annoyed her; she wanted them to go away because whenever she looks at them all she can think of is being shot down.

After she showered and got dressed she went to find something real to eat. Not junk food or takeaways. There was nothing she could eat in her house. She seriously needed to do some food shopping soon.

After eating some leftover takeaways from the other night she reached for her phone.

Before she had the chance to call Castle again there was a knock on her door.

Kate has been paranoid by every unexpected knock on the door since she was shot. She grabbed her gun and took a step towards the door.

"Who is it?"

"Kate, hey girl, it's Lanie, can I come in?"

At that moment she felt so stupid. She put away her gun and let in her friend.

"Hey, I thou-

"OK, Kate I'm worried about you, you never answer my calls, and I bet when you heard a knock on the door the first thing you did was grab your gun."

"You don't need to be worried Lanie"

"Yes I do need to be worried. I'm your friend"

"You could have called me to tell me you were coming, and then I wouldn't have had to grab my gun!"

"I tried to call but you didn't pick up."

"Oh, sorry, I- I. umm, I was in the shower."

She knew that she was purposely avoiding Lanie calls because she did not feel like talking to anyone, except for Castle.

"Right, shower. Look, Kate, we need to tal-"

"No, Lanie, we do not need to talk. I don't want to talk!"

She knew that she should talk but if she did everything bad in her life would become real and she would have nothing to hide behind anymore.

Lanie pushed pass Kate and sat down on her couch.

"Kate, sit down and talk to me. I will Listen, OK."

Kate walked over and sat beside Lanie but did not say a word.

"OK, I will start then."

They talked for what seemed like a couple of hours about the shooting and about Kate's mom and dad until Kate accidentally told Lanie about what Caste said to her.

"What? He said what!" Lanie shouted.

"Ahh, nothing, well nothing that matters."

She knew that there was no way to take back what she just said to Lanie.

"Nothing! Kate, where I come from 'I love you' is not nothing"

"Well he said it, and now I'm stuck with it. So that's all"

"No that is not all. Kate, I know you, I see how you look at him, I see how you act around him and now he said that he loved you why has nothing happened between you both yet. I mean he told you he loved you."

Kate knew she made a mistake about telling Castle that she remembered nothing about the night she got shot.

"He, he doesn't know anything." Kate whispered to herself.

"What, I didn't hear you."

"I said he doesn't know anything."

"Anything meaning…"

"Yeah."

Lanie looked at Kate like she was mad.

"Why would you tell him that you don't remember when obviously you do?"

"I just don't think he needs to know."

Lanie stood up and grabbed Kate's phone and dialed Castle's number.

"Talk to him!"

Kate took the phone out of Lanie's hand and put it up towards her ear.

"He won't answer. I've been calling all night and every time it goes to his answering machine.

Kate was just about to put down her phone when she heard someone pick up on the other end.

"Beckett, its Castle, what's up? You called me like 10 times. Are you OK?

"Yeah, hey, and I'm fine. Can we talk sometime soon?"

Kate heard People in the background on Castles end of the line.

"I'm a little busy here right now. Mothers got her drama buddies around and I'm supervising." Castle gave a little laugh. "Can we go out for lunch tomorrow, talk then?"

"Yeah, I understand. We all know how your Mother gets when she throws a party. Tomorrow sounds great."

"Cool. So meet at my place, say about 11:30."

"11:30 it is. See you then. Night Castle. Have fun being mature."

"Ha, I will actually. Night"

Kate threw her phone on the couch and slumped back when she saw Lanie smiling at her.

"What?" Kate asked Lanie.

"Girl, you are so in love! It's cute."

"Shut up Lanie. That's not fair."

In a way Kate was glad that she accidentally told Lanie about Castle because now she has someone to talk to other than her therapist.

"Thank you." Kate said.

Lanie looked up at Kate. She could tell Kate hadn't been eating properly but she didn't say anything. She just carried on being Lanie.

"Well, it wasn't that hard was it; I mean it was only a phone call."

"No, Lanie, I really mean thank you."

"No problem Kate. I am and always will be here for you, you know that right."

"Yeah, I know."

They talked for a little while longer then Kate walked Lanie down stairs to her cab.

On the way up the elevator Kate thought it was all a dream. Having a date with Castle seemed so different.

When she got back to her apartment, she checked no one was inside, locked all her windows and door, and then double checked everything was safe. When she was satisfied, she put her gun in the top draw next to her bed, changed into shorts and singlet, got in bed and just sat there.

She sat there thinking for a while, thinking about Castle and how her lunch date was going to go. Would she tell him the truth?

After a while she finally fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

After a morning full of paperwork and no action at work it was time for Kate to go to her lunch date with Castle.

Kate put o her jacket and grabbed her freshly made coffee by the machine Castle brought them, headed to her car, and drove away.

Kate was surprised at the amount of traffic there was on her way to Castles place. She imagined there would be not much traffic at all.

When she finally got to Castles place she realized she was 10 minutes late. She knocked on the door and waited. When no one answered she knocked again. There was no answer.

"Castle" she called. "Are you there, its Beckett?"

She was starting to wonder if Castle had forgotten about their lunch date.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed Castle. As soon as it started to ring she knew something was wrong. She heard Castles phone ringing inside.

She tried Castles door, it was unlocked so she went in.

"Castle, where are you?" she shouted.

She was almost about to leave when she saw what she least wanted to see.

As she walked into Castles office all she saw was him slouched in his chair, head down and not moving.

"Castle" Kate cried.

She ran over to him and checked if he was alive.

"Rick, its Kate, I'm going to call for some help ok. Hang in there, please."

Just as Kate was about to call 911 Castle grabbed hold of her hand to stop her.

"K-K-Kate" Castle whispered.

"I'm here Rick; help is on its way"

"Kate, p-p-please don't call for help"

"Rick, what happened?"

"Nothing happened, I'm f-fine"

"Rick, you need to let go of my hand so I can call for an ambulance."

Rick did not let go f her hand. Instead he just looked at her and smiled with that cheeky smirk that he has.

Kate looked back at him and pulled her hand out of his and stepped back.

"Castle, that was not funny, in fact, that was really mean."

"I got you didn't I."

Castle looked at Kate and saw she was crying.

"Oh, Kate, I'm sorry, I thought it would be funny."

"No, Castle, it was not. I thought you were, never mind. Are we still on for lunch? I need to talk."

"Yeah, of course, only if you want to."

"It's kind of important so yes, I want to."

"OK, I have reser-"

"No, can we stay here please."

"OK, let's go out to the living room, order out."

"Sure."

After they ate they started to talk about work, then each other the eventually they came to the shooting.

"Castle, I am fine but, well, I lied to you Castle"

"About what, I'm sure it's not too bad."

"Castle, it is bad."

At that moment Castle looked Kate in the eyes and knew it was bad. He also knew what she lied about.

"No, Beckett, how could you lie about that."

"I'm sorry, I was, I was scared of the truth and what it could bring."

"You told me you did not remember anything! I told you I loved you Beckett, I thought you were going to die. Then you tell me that you didn't remember anything. That's not OK Beckett."

Castle stood up and walked to his office and shut the door behind him.

After about a minute, Kate stood up and walked to his office. She had butterflies I her stomach because she didn't know what was going to happen next.

"Castle, I'm, I'm really sorry"

She was going to tell him she loved him she loved him but she wanted that moment to be special, she wanted to tell him when he was not mad at her.

"Beckett."

"Yeah Castle."

"Can you please leave me alone now?"

"OK, will I see you at work tomorrow?"

"I don't know Beckett, I don't know."

Kate walked out of his home, and into the elevator. When the doors closed she broke down into tears.

When Kate got home she didn't worry about checking her apartment for signs of break-ins or people being there. She was too upset. She wanted to call Lanie but she didn't want anyone to see her like this.

She walked to her bathroom and started to run a hot bath.

Once again she stood in front of the mirror to see how terrible she looked. She still had baggy eyes, skinny arms and she still had the scars.

When she was in the bath she tried to relax but it didn't work. She spent most of the time splashing about, trying to find a comfortable way to sit.

When she got out she avoided looking at herself in the mirror. She walked to her fridge and stared into it. She wasn't hungry; she just liked the cool air on her wet body.

She heard her phone ringing in her bedroom so she ran to see who was calling.

When she saw it was Castle she answered it straight away.

"Hey, Castle, how a-"

"Kate, I'm sorry, I was a jerk before. I was just shocked I guess. I mean I told you how I felt and you sort of denied it."

"I'm really glad you called Castle. I thought I would never hear from you ever again. By the way I meant what I said before. I am truly sorry."

"I know."

Kate smiled. A smile was very rare from her so she knew what she needed to do."

"Castle, I need to tell you something else."

"I'm all ears."

"Cast-, Rick, I, I, I love you."

There was a long moment of silence. Kate thought she had made a huge mistake telling him how she felt. Nothing was going to be the same anymore between them.

"I love you too, even thought you know that."

They talked for hours about everything. For Kate things were finally going to start to be OK. Now she had no regrets. She let everything out that she needed to. Now all she had to do was break down this wall and she would be completely free.

"Rick, it's late, I should probably go get some sleep."

"Yeah, go sleep; see you at work nice and early in the morning."

"Will do, and I will sleep nice knowing you are not pissed off at me."

"Goodnight Kate, sleep tight"

"Goodnight Rick."

That night Kate had one of the best sleeps she had in a long time.


End file.
